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Auntie Harassment's Advice To Working Women [1] Auntie Harassment brings biting
humour, feminist insight, and pragamatic solutions to harassed working women.
She invites you to contact her via E-mail if you think she might be helpful
in resolving your work place problems. Dear Aunti Harassment, I'm, like, you
know, a waitress. And this macho
guy, like you know, on midnights comes in.
'N he's okay when we're alone, but, like, when his friends are with,
like he's a pig. He like, orders me
around from across the room. Now I
like this guy, you know, and he's a good tipper 'n all. But I don't like him bossen me, you know,
from across the room, for Gawd's sake!
What can I do? Hassled Waitress in Bath Dear Hassled in Bath The next time this porker is in your section and alone, treat him as nicely as he treats you. You can never go wrong with the golden rule. When his friends are with him and he is rude, crude, or stewed, go to his table and smile sweetly. He will think he has impressed you. Then, in your most pleasant, sexiest voice ask "Would you like a little attention"? Of course, he will bellow, "Yes, I would". Smile dazzlingly, and voice dripping with sugar, say, " Good! I'm giving you as fucking little as possible". Just before you walk away, and between his friends’ derisive hoots, tell him to shut his mouth or he'll catch a fly. If he doesn't leave a big tip, his friends will josh him. I don't think you are risking much. Good luck; and remember Auntie’s advice is always to practice on the other men in your life. Hugs; Auntie Harassment Dear Auntie Harassment, My boss John
is in a constant state of sexual arousal.
He finds ways to rub against me, make vulgar jokes, or talk about my
body shape and parts. He is only
like this when we are alone, when someone else is there (especially his boss
or wife), butter wouldn't melt in his mouth. I need my job; I have a baby to support . Can you give me some suggestions that will
not cost me my job? Constant State of Disgust in Kingston Dear Constant State, For your
sanity, and to get the proper attitude for this dude, rent the movie `Nine To
Five'. Then consider any or all of
the following tactics: 1) Become best
friends with his wife. 2) Replace the sugar in the coffee room
with saltpetre (you may be helping others too). 3) When he
talks about your body, make fun of his body. 4) Write him an
anonymous letter saying he'd better behave or his wife will be told. 5) If he is
doing this now, he has done it before.
Suggest a get together of his former employees to reminisce. 6) Buy a
personal alarm from the Anti-Harassment Coalition, and use it when he touches
you 7) Write a
bestseller naming him. If these don't work, call
the Kingston feminist police. They will give him an asshole ticket, and only
then kick the shit out of him. If
that doesn't do the trick, the feminist police will give him a choice: castration
or lobotomy. Either option, he will
stop harassing or he will quit work.
If he stops harassing -your problems are over. If he quits work, apply for his job. You are probably doing 95% of his work
anyway. Wishing you success always; Auntie Harassment Dear Auntie Harassment, I think those
whining women are way off base when they pick on male bosses who are out
there working their fingers to the bone for their families. I have a boss, and there is nothing wrong
with him. He is always grateful when
I get his coffee or buy his wife a birthday gift of lingerie. He certainly appreciates my looks and the
fact that I take care of myself. His
compliments and the fact that he is a little turned on by me is the best
compliment that a girl can get at work.
Why shouldn't a rich powerful man have pretty girls around? It's not a sin to be attractive, and my
looks have certainly has helped me to become Executive Secretary to the
President. I'm just a girl. I can't be the President! I do my job, and a little more. Anyway, I enjoy doing things for him, and
he shows his appreciation by taking me on business trips. And, anyway, I think I earn all the perks
I get. Pretty ... and Teed Off in
Sydenham. Dear Pretty Teed, I agree! You do
indeed earn your money and all the perks you get! And I think you have told us more about yourself than you
know. Traditionally, men take
advantage of their power; so I rest my case. Contact me again when you are
neither young nor pretty, we will be on the same planet by then. In the
meantime, tend your masculinist dominator, but do be careful not to get shoe
polish on you lovely lips when you lick his shoes. Auntie Harassment.
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