• Genealogy - where you confuse the dead and irritate the living.  
• The truth is out there....Anyone know the URL?  
• My genes are faded and full of holes!
• Don't take life too seriously...after all, it won't last forever. 
• Life is only as long as you live it.
• Vampires are blood relatives. 
• Fastest way to find your family tree: run for public office.  
• Climbing my family tree was fun until the nuts appeared.  
• Any family tree produces some lemons, nuts and bad apples.

THE CHOKING LADY

Two men from Texas were sitting at a bar when a young lady nearby began to choke on a hamburger. She gasped & gagged, and one Texan turned to the other and said, "That little gal is having' a bad time.

I'm a gonna go over there and help."

He ran over to the young lady, held both sides of her head in his big Texan hands, and asked, "Kin ya swaller?"

Gasping, she shook her head "no." He asked, "Kin ya breathe?" Still gasping, she again shook her head "no."

With that, he yanked up her skirt, pulled down her panties and licked her on the butt.

The young woman was so shocked that she coughed up the piece of hamburger and began to breathe on her own. The Texan sat back down with his friend and said, "Ya know, it's sure amazin' how that hind-lick maneuver always works."

This one's self explanatory don't you think? I'll wager we ALL wish we had that key!

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