The Guidelines Song
I once had a headache, so I
called my GP
Now I’m on the waiting list for a CT
If they had extra billing, I could have had three
My doctor don’t follow no guidelines no more
I once had some chest pain, and my doctor got bent
He whipped out his scalpel and put in a stent
He’d have thrown in a bypass, but I didn’t consent
My doctor don’t follow no guidelines no more
I went for a checkup, I thought I was fine
But he wrote me prescriptions, about twenty-nine
Then he left for a free cruise from GlaxoSmithKline
My doctor don’t follow no guidelines no more
I never would say that my doctor’s a quack
But he took out my kidney and then put it back
It was all fee-for-service, and he’s in the black
My doctor don’t follow no guidelines no more
My doctor says medicine’s really an art
Put a valve in my stomach and stapled my heart
Turned out he was looking at the wrong patient’s chart
My doctor don’t follow no guidelines no more
© Adi Sara Kreindler, 2009
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