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Whimsical Wits

Email: bigga_mack1946@yahoo.ca

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. 
Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring on a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. 
He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. 
As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?" 
She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world did I do today?" 
"Yes," was his incredulous reply. 
She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."

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A little boy walked into his mother’s room while she was dressing. Pointing down at her twat, he said, "Mommy, what’s that?" Embarrassed, his mother said, "Oh, that’s a sponge." A few weeks later, she shaved her pussy in response to her husband’s kinky desires. The next day, the little boy walked in on her again while she was dressing. This time he said, "Mommy, what happened to your sponge?" She thought fast and said, "I lost it." The next day, he came into the kitchen and said, "Mommy, I found your sponge. The maid’s upstairs washing Daddy’s face with it."

(WARNING!   Some of the Jokes & Joke Pictures may be offensive.)

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