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A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years. They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.
For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover. In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000.
He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be married," she said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll."
The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness. "Honey," he said, "that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?" "Oh," she said, "That's the money I made from selling the dolls."
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A farmer was sitting in a bar getting drunk.
A man came in and asked the farmer, "Hey, why are you sitting here, on this beautiful day, getting drunk?"
The farmer shook his head and replied, "Some things you just can’t explain."
"So what happened that’s so horrible?", the man asked as he sat down next to the farmer.
"Well," the farmer said, "Today, I was sitting by my cow, milking her.
Just as I got the bucket full, she lifted her left leg and kicked over the bucket."
"Okay," said the man, "but that’s not so bad."
"Some things you just can’t explain," the farmer replied, "I took her left leg and tied it to the post on her left.
Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her. Just as I got the bucket full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket."
The man laughed, "Again?"
The farmer nodded, and replied, "Some things you just can’t explain.
I took her right leg this time and tied it to the post on the right.
Well I sat back down and began milking her again. Just as I got the bucket full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail. Some things you just can’t explain."
"So, what did you do?"
"Well," the farmer said, "I didn’t have anymore rope, so I took off my belt and tied her tail to the rafter.
At that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in...Some things you just can’t explain..
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