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Whimsical Wits

Email: bigga_mack1946@yahoo.ca

Its Better To Be Boss.

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My husband, a war-movie buff, and my 6-year-old daughter sat in front of the television watching actual World War II footage of the unconditional surrender that ended the war with Japan. 
As General Douglas MacArthur and Japan's General Umeza stood on the deck of the USS Missouri and signed documents under the watchful gaze of Allied troops, my daughter was confused. 
"What's wrong?" asked my husband. 
Pointing to the set, she said, "Which one is John Wayne?"

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An Air Force chief master sergeant and a general were sitting in the barbershop. They were both just getting finished with their shaves when the barbers reached for some after shave to slap on their faces. The general shouted, "Hey, don't put that stuff on me! My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse!" The chief turned to his barber and said, "Go ahead and put it on. My wife doesn't know what the inside of a whorehouse smells like."

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One day this guy Larry entered a contest to give the best toast before taking a shot of vodka. His toast was: "Here’s to spending the rest of my life between the legs of my wife." Later that night Larry told his wife that he had won a contest at the local bar. She asked him how he won. 
Quickly Larry improvised and stated he made this toast: 
"Here’s to spending the rest of my life.........umm......beside my wife at...ummm........crunch." 
She thought it was a very nice toast. 
The next day one of Larry’s best friends ran into his wife at the supermarket. He told her that he made a really great toast the other night. Not knowing what Larry had really toasted, she said that she like his toast but didn’t understand it, because he’s only been there twice, and once she even had to pull his ears to make him come.

(WARNING!   Some of the Jokes & Joke Pictures may be offensive.)

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