I HAVE A HEARING PROBLEM

For some years now my hearing has been deteriorating. I got two hearing aids about six years ago. These are now proving less and less adequate. I'm writing this item because I observe that several people I know also are having hearing problems - and they are experiencing the same domestic difficulties that I do.

I notice - and experience - that not infrequently some spouses/partners express exasperation that verges on annoyance at not being heard or being misunderstood when they make casual remarks in the course of every-day living. "You aren't paying attention to me", "If only you'd be more aware", "You've turned me off again" are some of the remarks that are made.

Here are some facts that should be considered.

Hearing aids can only deal with some of the spectrum of hearing deficiencies. Yes, they can make sounds louder. Yes, they can selectively amplify certain frequencies more than others. But they cannot improve the wearer's ability to discriminate between similar sounds. "S" sounds and "F" sounds, for example, may sound the same regardless of how loud they are. This can, and does, lead to misunderstandings.

Those of us with hearing difficulties are usually aware that we are being spoken to, but much of the meaning usually has to be inferred from context and expression. This is tiring and it can, and does, lead to misunderstanding.

The fallout from misunderstandings, frequently asking people to repeat, requesting that they only speak to you when in the same room, when facing you and when you are ready for it, is very exhausting. And these requests sometimes need to be repeated many times a day. After a while you tend not to bother and you start guessing at what was said to you. This, of course, leads to worse misunderstandings and makes things worse.

Background sounds from traffic, television sets, appliances, and the like are distracting and irritating to hearing impaired people. It's a fact of life.

If you live with a hearing impaired person please....

Speak only when you are close to, and facing the listener.

A gesture of some sort, indicating that you are about to say something really helps.

Avoid conversations when the dishwasher, blender or radio is on. In fact don't do it. Show sense.

Expressing exasperating, even unintentionally, will not improve matters. In fact it will make your life as well as your partner's miserable. If your life is already miserable it'll make it worse.

The latest types of hearing aids cost thousands each - and they aren't perfect either.